Hey there, Aronson Ad-icts!
Welcome to another episode of Aronson Ads Employee Vehicle Reviews! For our second monthly car review, Mr. Ross Eugene, part-time content writer and avid enthusiast of drooling over cars, has graciously allowed us to delve more deeply into the complexity and elegance that is his 2001 Buick Century.
Unlike last week’s 2000 VW Golf, Ross’ iconic American sedan has the aesthetics you are more likely to expect from a vehicle over 15 years old. With elegant scratching, a well-placed dent from a foul ball, and some very peculiar rear bumper scratches, Ross’ Buick Century has been aged like an old guitar that has been dropped repeatedly over the years.
As I approached the breathtaking Buick Century for the first time, Ross began to shake it from the outside, in order to demonstrate the immense wear on the suspension, which squeaked intently under the pressure.
The first thing you will notice is the heinous cigarette smell that has been ineffectively masked by Ozium, one of the worst odor removal scents imaginable. Purposefully dripped along the front passenger door, several presumably sticky Coke stains line the interior of the sedan. These refined fizzy drink stains result from an acquaintance whose hands are made entirely of butter.
Peppered with rubbish, the floor of the Century crunches under ones foot, reminding me that I will need to purchase bubble wrap at a later date.
This month’s ride-along had no particular destination. I recall very little of the conversation between Ross and myself, as the boat-like sedan gave me irreversible seasickness for the rest of the day. I do, however seem to remember mention of the tape deck and how it requires brute force in order to function properly. A quick demonstration proved this to be true.
Extremely non-responsive, jamming on the gas pedal from a rolling 20 miles per hour seems to confuse the vehicle, which reacted more like a screaming mental patient than a car. After a brief discussion, Ross and I estimate that it will take somewhere between 10 and 12 seconds for the Century to begrudgingly reach 60 MPH.
Ross’ 2001 Buick Century: Report Card
| Performance | D |
|---|---|
| Handling | D |
| Comfort | B+ |
| Convenience | C |
| Overall Grade | D+ |
If you are looking to purchase Ross’ outlandishly used 2001 Buick Century, or if you want help with your next digital marketing campaign, don’t hesitate to contact Aronson Advertising through our website or by calling us at (847) 297-1700.
